Friday

Friday...a day like any other, but this one didn't look promising from the very morning...the Pope was arriving today...I had a math test today...my future was uncertain today...or rather, was the verdict already passed? Maybe someone up there knew this would happen? Why didn't they tell me? Why didn't they warn me? Did they not trust me to lead my life differently? Didn't I deserve a chance? Why did this happen to me? These and other questions plagued me all morning...everything seemed different that day...I didn't even like breakfast, though I'd always enjoyed it. Now, looking back, I think I had a premonition of the impending disaster. I wonder why I didn't have such a premonition when it all began...

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It was Saturday, a beautiful, sunny day, one of those days when staying indoors is considered a sin. I went outside to meet my friends from the neighborhood. I could never admit it, but I was always fascinated by who they were and what they did... there was something so captivating about them, something that made me want to listen to them. They weren't very fluent, they only had a basic grasp of Polish, but that didn't bother me, because proper Polish was the only thing school and... me. Yes, it was thanks to my ability to write decent essays that I could hang out with them. I didn't mind that I had to scribble something for a friend at least once a week; it usually didn't take me more than an hour, so I managed to survive. Some might say they weren't my true friends, since I had to be useful to them just to talk to them... it's true, I never considered them close, I really wanted to, but the nature of who I was meant that our contacts ended when they were about to start their next job. I think you're perfectly aware of what my friends did... the shortest way to describe them is that they were typical scumbags. They spent their entire days partying. When the weather was bad, they'd sneak into some hut. On a sunny day, they'd sit in the gateway, on the carpet rack, wherever they pleased. No one would chase them away, after all. He'd only try... it's true that most people were afraid of them. I don't know if that was true; after all, they were my friends, so I didn't have to! At least, that's what I assumed. It's true that I got punched in the head a few times for something trivial, but who never has? Getting back to being in the gateway... it was a very beneficial place for us, I think I can write that, although perhaps I should write it for them and for my companion, me? I think that spending all my free time with them has earned me the right to be called a tracksuit... at least here, in this text, when they can't see... you can't tell them... right?

The gate... the perfect place. No passerby will enter, unless they're stupid and don't care about life. So, peace and quiet. You can chat endlessly about nothing, smoke cigarettes, and sip beer... it's also the perfect place to spot someone... and then it's easy money.

Few people realize how often they're observed walking down the street in the city. Almost no one knows that in every other gate there's a different group, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to pick on someone. Tracksuits aren't magicians; they don't know in advance that this or that person needs to be picked on because they're in the money; they rarely pick on someone by accident. A potential scumbag is usually observed for a few moments, and then the decision is made whether it's worth it or not... that's what happened on Saturday... my big chance... something I completely didn't expect, or maybe not. Why lie and hide? I'd been waiting for this day for a long time, dreaming of finally receiving the command—"Go!" And suddenly it happened. I heard a simple sentence: "Come on, Young One, this cunt is yours!" Suddenly, the world spun before my eyes... At first, I didn't understand, I was as if intoxicated... After two years, I'm getting my chance. I, an asshole who didn't say anything to anyone, can become someone, I can gain the respect I've always dreamed of! This can't be true, why today? How is this day different from the previous ones? And finally, why am I afraid?! I'd felt for a long time that I was prepared for this, that I wouldn't have any trouble... I don't know what was happening to me at that moment; I was torn by various thoughts, doubts... my friends pulled me out of my stupor... suddenly I heard: "What's wrong, Young One? Are you squealing or what? Don't pull this bullshit on us!"

That was it, all the strange thoughts were forgotten. All that mattered was the guy across the street and me, my mission... my big chance to prove I was somebody, that I had balls... I couldn't screw this up, not now, I'd waited too long for this! I went!

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I walked out of the gate... charged with energy, mobilized enough to complete the "assignment" I'd been given. A terrible heat poured from the sky, as if the sun wanted to scorch the entire earth, tormenting everyone in it immensely. The weather had been truly tropical this summer... maybe that's why they sent me? Maybe they just didn't want to suffer in the blazing sun? But I tried not to think about it, at least not now; there would be time to think about it after the job I was supposed to do.

Standing on the sidewalk, I watched the people pass me by for a moment. All dressed in summer clothes, strolling without a care in the world, reveling in the sunny weather. How strange it is that none of them sense the danger as they pass one gate after another, each one of the old tenement houses. They don't realize the danger, or perhaps they don't want to think about it, hoping it will all pass them by? That fate will spare them? In that very moment, I was Fate, deciding whether this unassuming, frail asshole would lose all the precious things he carried with him or not. The verdict had already been passed; the guy had been written off from the moment I stepped out of the gate. I was already on his side of the street...a few steps behind him...one last glance towards "my gate"...I only saw a familiar nod, or maybe I just wanted to see it? It didn't matter then... I'm Fate, and the verdict was passed... I struck... the asshole fell to the ground... he's mine now, I didn't think it would be so easy... I corrected myself with a reckless kick in the stomach... only now did I see his face up close, his terrified face... he looked young, not even 20. Another kick, this time in the face... now there's no turning back... he's covered in blood... a quick search, and all my valuables end up in my pockets... I run, no one stops me... why? Was everyone afraid? Why didn't anyone help this boy? Does the attack of a 15-year-old boy evoke such fear in all passersby? I could never understand it, but at that moment it didn't bother me at all.

I ran quickly, not looking back, passing shops, gates, streets... I was safe.

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I returned to my yard after two hours. When I saw me, all my friends jumped to their feet... the congratulations were endless... they said I was truly one of them now... that they were proud of me... that I'd done a great job. I accepted all this recognition with mixed feelings. For a moment, I was triumphant, my dreams had come true... I was one of them, at least for a moment... yes, for a moment... suddenly one of the guys asked, "Youngster!? What's that scar over your eye? That clown didn't do that to you!" The enthusiasm subsided... everyone waited curiously for my answer. I felt a great sense of shame and embarrassment. I stood there for a moment, feeling my hands sweating profusely. I was helpless, I had to answer, reveal the truth, tell them what a huge scoundrel I was... But I was afraid, afraid of their reaction, not that they would beat me up... I was afraid that I had wasted my only and probably last chance to become one of them... Suddenly, the worst question came, after which I had to finally face my fear... "Kid, where is the money, the cell phone and everything that asshole had?"... I stood there for a good minute, staring at them aimlessly, until I finally said very quietly... "They cut me up in the park"... after these words they started laughing terribly. It didn't last long, though... I don't remember how many blows to the head I received that day... I only know that after a few I lost consciousness... when I woke up, I found a note saying that I owed them 200 PLN... I have time until Friday...

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Friday... today I was supposed to pay the debt. I wasn't worried about the money itself, because I managed to save it... it worried me I'm failing math... not because I'm so stupid at it... but because of my own stupidity. If I didn't have to earn that stupid money all week, I wouldn't have any problem learning the material... oh well, a whole year wasted... damn fate... I was the one... it's unfair that the most important things in life are decided at such a young age! Math and a year behind are one thing... there was still the humiliation among my "friends"... I'll give them that money; I have no choice... but I'll never have the chance to be one of them again... what a terrible feeling it is to lose everything you dreamed of in an instant. And yet I had my chance... I was Fate...